Are your children struggling with behaviors? One of the first places you may look to get help is to hire a professional to evaluate your child and develop a behavior plan. No doubt this can be important, but as a parent you also continuously need to evaluate your own behaviors. Behaviors are a part of everyone’s life and often your behaviors can feed into your child’s. Let’s look at a very common example most of us can relate to.
You Can’t Please Everybody!
Many of us are longing to create a more peaceful life. I initially thought trying to make everybody happy would make my life more peaceful. For example, when my children were younger, every time they wanted more activities or play dates, I squeezed it into my schedule. It did not take long to realize I was way over scheduled and the stress of trying to “do it all” transferred into more behaviors in all of us. I had to stop and reflect on what I was doing with my time, stress, and anxiety and begin to learn to set boundaries.
How to Start Setting Boundaries
My kids and I finally sat down a started drawing boundaries. We combed through our schedules. Both kids picked two activities per week they were passionate about. I also cut down on therapies for my son who has multiple disabilities. Instead of scheduling everything into individual activities outside of home, we started scheduling things we could do as a family at home. A lot of that included down time to relax, have fun, and help each other reduce our stresses.
Does "Busy" Translate to Being Fulfilled?
One of the most important things you can teach your kids is how to set boundaries and decompress. Instead of filling their schedules with everything to “keep them busy” teach them to put things into their schedule that are meaningful. Being busy does not equate to living a more fulfilled life. In fact, it often puts everyone on overload just trying to get to the next activity. Have you ever written down how much time you spend in your car as a taxi cab driver for your kids? How often have you run like a crazy person to get the kids in the car to go someplace that may have kept them busy, but was meaningless as far as adding anything of value to their lives.
Is the stress of being too busy seeping into your home and adding to your children’s behaviors? When behaviors rear their ugly head, one of the first places I look is directly into a mirror at myself. I cannot help my children with all of their behaviors nor is this about blaming yourself for their behaviors. It is about taking an inventory and developing a greater understanding of how your behaviors can impact your child’s. Addressing even small triggers can help alleviate many of the root causes of these behaviors.
Although scheduling and time is one small example of how to decrease behaviors, there are many more. Dealing with and learning how to decrease the triggers can bring everyone in your family the peace and success they are looking for!
Share some things you have done below in the comments section!
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